Moments of weakness…. Down days… darkness… damage…
Sometimes it's hard to know when you are in the thick of it… when your imperfections and bad memories are surfacing and wanting attention but you have things to do. Who has time to deep dive into murky water?
It's our nature to push through and get by. It's survival 101.
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Some of you may know that I've piggybacked off the 75 HARD program and created an experience called 75 TENDER.
The framework is designed to get transformative results without beating yourself up or going through a tortuous experience.
I'm already hard on myself due to conditioning… no need to implement a structure that plays into that template. I'm more interested in fashioning a soft landing from the organic expansion that life offers.
With 75 TENDER we create DESIRES (more tender than goals) and establish SACRIFICES (dropping behaviors we already wanted to change) and set INTENTIONS (guidelines to help) and we don't judge (waste of time and energy) when we fall short (not available to self berate anymore) during the 75 day experience.
I'm engaged in a process where I gently seek to reveal more of my realness… by being very, very, very tender with myself.
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The recent desire that I declared for 75 TENDER is to:
"Linger with the unimaginable and I receive my heart's desires."
I set the desire feeling all hunky dory… like the unimaginable would be… oh, i don't know maybe winning the lottery without buying a ticket. LOL.
I never would have thought the unimaginable would mean A LACK OF DRIVE.
WHAAAT?! Have you met me?
Being listless is unimaginable for me. But a moment of weakness wanted to be with me.
I sat in the void… in the darkness… I lingered in the unimaginable and I did not judge myself for it.
This past weekend I was in bed sick with 2 sick kids, I felt my listlessness come to a head and then I snapped awake from it.
My moment of weakness was ready to conclude. The organic cycle was complete.
I realized that since the end of April I haven't been sleeping much and I've been a bit of a zombie during the day. I've read 50 books in 2 months and I'm not bragging.
I love reading and I think it's a healthy habit, but I can see how I've retreated to my inner world with the help of fiction.
I was immersed in what was not real.
I've been feeling around in a dark room, trying to find the light switch.
By acknowledging that I've been staying up reading all night long, I was able to:
1. notice the pattern
2. call it out for what it is = listlessness
3. give it some density so that I can face it and address it
I found the light switch and now that I can see, I can recalibrate.
I can get real. (Not in a snarky way)
I have shifted significantly… Even my hair is parting on the opposite side!
I'm relearning my heart's desires…. I'm learning how to be real as this new version of myself.
One desire that is clear to me… I am meant to help others using my voice.
That's always a through line in my life. It's my soul's purpose.
I see myself speaking into the darkness. As a torch bearer.. Standing at the edge of a bridge…a symbol of transition. I came back to show you the way.
If that sounds weird or difficult to understand, it's ok. I don't mind.
You don't have to understand everything I say to KNOW that we should work together. Feel what your intuition says. If you still aren't sure, let's hop on a free call and talk it out.
I want to leave you with a message today:
ALLOW YOURSELF TO HAVE A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS.
Find your place to let down your guard, give your darkness and damage density, and speak your desires. Holding back means holding on… and that's the only thing holding you back.
✊May your desire be greater than your obstacles,
Catherine
If you want to join 75 TENDER… this is the Facebook group for the free program: https://www.facebook.com/groups/75tender
